The Question No One Asks
NOTES FROM CINDY BROWN
Have you ever noticed that when people ask about your kids, they almost always ask the same things? How's your daughter? What's she up to? Is she dating anyone? What does she do for work?
You know what almost nobody asks? "Is she happy?" It's like we've all been handed this invisible checklist of things that are supposed to make us happy.
Get the degree. Land the job. Find the partner. Buy the house. Make the money. Insert random life achievement here.
And somehow, without even realizing it, we start believing:
"I'll be happy when…"
I'll be happy when I lose the weight. I'll be happy when I make more money. I'll be happy when I meet someone. I'll be happy when the kids move out. I'll be happy when my business hits the next level.
It's such bullshit. Happiness isn't some magical prize waiting for us at the finish line. Yet so many of us postpone joy while we hustle toward the next thing.
We keep moving the goalposts. And then we wonder why arriving never feels the way we thought it would. Years ago, someone in my life started asking a different question. Not, "What's Kelsey doing these days?" Not, "What's next for her?" Not, "How much is she making?"
Just this: "Is Kelsey having fun?" At first, it seemed like such a simple question. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how profound it actually is. Are we having fun? Are we enjoying our lives? Are we creating moments that make us laugh until our stomach hurts? Are we doing things simply because they light us up?
Or have we become so focused on checking the boxes that we've forgotten to ask ourselves what we actually want? Success matters. Goals matter. Growth matters. But so does joy. So does peace. So does waking up and genuinely liking the life you've created.
Maybe it's time we stop measuring our lives solely by what we've accomplished and start paying attention to how we're experiencing them.
So here's your challenge this week: Instead of asking someone, "How are you?"
Ask: "Are you happy?" Or maybe ask: "Are you having fun?" And while you're at it, ask yourself.
You might be surprised by the answer.
